Divorce & Breakup Self-Love & Self-Esteem

How To End Toxic Relationship Pattern

How To End Toxic Relationship Pattern?

If you have ever been in a toxic relationship, you know how confusing, painful, and destructive it makes you feel. It’s destructive to your self-esteem, identity and children. You’re about to learn one most important truth about how to break free from this trap of getting yourself into toxic relationships and end this cycle of allowing men to treat you disrespectfully.

“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”

~Marilyn Monroe

Most relationships, including the toxic ones, start passionately. The next thing you know things change. You’re bombarded by painful bullets of emotional abuse. Being called degrading names. You’re feeling broken and in physical agony even when there was no violence. Feeling out of control and always vigilant because you never know when he is going to lash out.

All of these are the red flags of you getting yourself into a toxic relationship. Yet, some choose to ignore it because they get attached to a fantasy or hope that one day everything will miraculously change. Often nothing will change. The longer you wait the higher the emotional cost of a divorce.

The Cancerous Pattern Of Self- Destruction

When passion and tranquillity are replaced by humiliation and mortification, you are probably taken off guard.  But a few months or years later, you stop even noticing this abuse. This abuse becomes a new norm for your relationship. All of that numbs you out. You can’t help but start feeling as a trained bystander in your own life. You know when to speak up and when to shut up.

When you get home from your successful career, you are not sure what kind of evening it will be. It might be the night when you’re the “best thing that has ever happened to him” or it can be the night where you’re “nothing but a whore“.

Then, relationship anxiety enters your life.  You start running out of ways to deal with self-criticism and self-doubt.

Prioritise your Relationship Goals

Abuse as a New Norm in Toxic Relationships

Here is the painful truth!

The longer you stay in a toxic relationship, the harder it becomes to leave, especially when children are also involved. But the truth is that you are only hurting your children and yourself. My mother always says “if you tell a person she is a pig, sooner or later she will start grunting.” The same happens in toxic relationships. The longer you stay, the less self-respect, self-belief and self-worth you will have.

You are Your Own Rescuer

The only way you can break free from this pattern of getting yourself into another toxic relationship is to face the hot truth. You need to sit down and get honest with yourself. Create a plan on how to get off of that awful ride. Because if you don’t do it, no one will do it for you.  The longer you stay in this toxic environment and remain a magnet to narcissists, the more desensitised you become to the abuse and the more you collude with the abuse.

The interesting part about toxic relationships is that your bank account or your social status don’t protect you from getting into them. I work with so many successful women who don’t seem to be able to master their love life. In fact, they find themselves in a painful aftermath after divorce.  Or they keep allowing men to enter their lives and destroy their self-worth.

Woman therapy is sexy

Pull Yourself Out of Toxic Relationship

My intention here is to let you know that you are not alone and you’re not broken. But you do need to take the necessary steps to wipe out this magnet that is in you, and it attracts these toxic relationships.  You deserve this work.  It’s on you to make an exit plan.

Plus, when children are involved, it exacerbates the urgency for this work. Because trauma that is created by this abuse is passed down to your children. See, some women tell me during our breakthrough sessions: “Karolina, I can’t afford this, my son/daughter is my top priority right now. I put them first. They are my everything.”

Children shouldn't pay for your unhealed trauma

Your Unhealed Trauma Should Not Impact Your Children

Then, I pause them and ask, “Are you really?”  Because if what you say is true then you should be the first in line to do self-healing work so you don’t pass this pain to your children. Because they will repeat your patterns. You can‘t afford this.

Being honest with yourself about the true reason for your lack of action is the first step. Don’t blame your children for that. Overcoming selfishness and honouring the truth is unbelievably powerful.

If you’re ready to do the work, then reach out and schedule your free Breakthrough Session now.

Book your breakthrough session to end toxic relationship

How to finally get the love you want?

Once you’ve had a chance to read, I’d love to know: what made you realize that you were running a toxic relationship pattern?

No matter what you’re facing right now, there is an adventurous journey ahead. You can use your heart, courage, and dedication to find a way or make a way. It all comes to how bad you want to make it happen.

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Karolina Tatarenkova