Magnet to Narcissists! – Top Reasons
Why You Get Attracted to Narcissists!
Have you ever wondered why you keep getting yourself into relationships where you are frequently disrespected! Relationships in which you face abuse, maybe not physically but emotionally or spiritually! Moreover, you allow men to walk over you in such sore relationships. Why do you fall into relationships in which you lose yourself completely: your self-worth, self-value, and self-esteem? In short, why do you repeatedly fall for narcissists?
A few days, weeks, months or years later you wake up and ask yourself a question standing in front of the mirror: “WHO AM I?” “HOW DID I GET HERE?” Today, I am going to answer all those questions in this post. You will get a profound understanding as to why you keep repeatedly attracting narcissists into your life: men who walk over you rather than loving, respecting and growing with you. Once you know the reasons behind falling for narcissists, you will get the solution to successfully deal will narcissists.
Narcissists are Nothing Less than Vampires
First of all, you should understand that narcissists are similar to vampires. Narcissists are quite skilled in sucking the energy out of you. They do it just to create this dance which in turn keeps you glued to them for their attention, validation, and presence. It is because of this reason you continue to remain in such a toxic relationship with a narcissist. Logically, you very well understand that you should get out of this trap. Although, emotionally you feel totally paralysed. You feel yourself lost and embarrassed because you are an intelligent woman. Although, you fail to master your love life and create healthy relationships.
Let me tell you that you are not alone in this world. I have worked with many women on therapy sessions, who are considered quite successful in today’s world. They have a great career. They have achieved a certain level of success in several areas of life, yet they are hungry for love. This very fact of failing to apply the skills to achieve success in their love life, which they used in their career feels quite infuriating to them.
Date Yourself to Connect with Your Soul
You need help whenever you feel yourself getting stuck in similar situations. It will be an honour for me to help you break free out of such situations. You must get aware of how you are yourself contributing to this dance full of toxic relationships and many limiting boundaries. But for now, let me share my client’s story with you so you can decipher some practical strategies, which are capable enough to start changing your life right from today.
How Successful Women Get Connected to Narcissists!
I was consulting one of my clients for breakup therapy a few months back. She is in her late 40s. She has been through two marriages so far. Unfortunately, both of her marriages were with narcissistic men. When she was breaking out of her first relationship with a narcissistic man, she promised herself to NEVER ever get stuck into such toxic relationships again. Although, the reality turned out to be totally different. Her first marriage ended up in a nasty divorce.
She came out of her first marriage with a broken identity. It was hard for her to remember who she was and what she wanted from her life. She even swore on her life to never ever get herself stuck in any kind of relationship with a narcissist. Although, just after a few months, she found herself engaged in a new and fresh relationship. Her new relationship was passionate and consuming in the beginning. Slowly, the passion started fading away, giving space to abuses in their relationship. Finally, this so-called fresh relationship soon ended the same way as her first relation. It is a classic dynamic in toxic relationships.
She decided to do something different this time. She realised that she failed the ability to navigate successfully out of her toxic relationship pattern on her own. While going through her second divorce, she came to see me for my professional advice. After a few therapeutic counselling sessions with me, she was able to discover a pattern which was responsible for making her a magnet to narcissists. Do you want to know about that pattern?
Talent of Narcissists
Narcissists are quite talented at building this special relationship blanket, particularly in the beginning of such a toxic relationship. They disguise it to convince you of the unique and special love which you both are about to nurture together. Didn’t you ever felt as if you lost yourself up too quickly in such relationships? It’s your first danger red signal.
“Special Relationship” Blanket of Narcissist
Narcissists tend to use phrases such as
- “I’ve never felt this kind of love for anyone else before” or
- “so many women have broken my heart, but you make me feel like a true man again” or
- “what I feel for you is so much more than what I have ever felt for anyone else before. Our love is surreal.”
This is nothing more than a foreplay form to plant and sow the seeds for you so that you become oblivious to a painful abuse. It is all about planting the seeds for your future tolerance of this toxic dynamic. It is dynamic because both of you contribute to this dance as I had mentioned above. So, let’s analyse what YOU are doing to contribute for this dance because you can only control your actions and no one else. You can’t and shouldn’t try to change him at any cost.
Narcissists magically mislead women into making them believe that the best relationships are explosive and passionate. As a result, you tend to start believing that such explosiveness is a sign being getting into a precious relationship. Although, you fail to realise that it wasn’t any passion. Although, your conviction of this ‘fact’ breaks over time. Later, it becomes more difficult for you to leave this relationship or break this toxic pattern.
What is Your Way Out!
Analyse your previous relationships and see if this “special bond” dynamic was something that attracted you to adapt such toxic relationships. Afterwards, do an honest conversation with yourself about what is the essence of passion for you and how has it been manifesting in your past relationships.
Beware, explosiveness in not the same as passion. Pain and emotional manipulation are surely not the ingredients of a passionate relationship. In fact, when you are attracting wrong relationships, it gets pivotal to pay attention towards the intensity of emotional response you receive as you enter into a new relationship. When you don’t feel this emotional avalanche of love bursting into your life, be assured it is a positive sign.
Narcissists Cure Comes with Patience
Once you start working on yourself and reach out for help, things start changing. However, you have to be patient enough to allow that change to integrate because nothing happens overnight. Be wary of not jumping into another new relationship too soon. Date yourself for a little bit. Allow yourself to reach to a point where you don’t need anyone’s validation or approval. It is only when you feel complete without the presence of a man in your life, you will be able to build a healthy relationship. When you reach to that level, you feel worthy of attracting the right man into your life.
Moreover, if you need more support, strategies, and tools to sail through successfully on this journey, I have the right thing for you. Get your system right now. Otherwise, I will see you at your own strategy session. Such situations resolve with a personalised approach. The situations which might be holding you back in your love life.
Once you’ve had a chance to read, I’d love to know: what was it for you that attracted you to a narcissistic man in the beginning of the relationship?
No matter what you’re facing right now, there is an adventurous journey ahead. You can use your heart, courage, and dedication to find a way or make a way. It all comes to how bad you want to make it happen.
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