How to know you met the right man?
Divorce & Breakup

How to Know That You Found The One

How Can I Know That I’m Making the Right Choice When I Start Dating A New Man?

You’ve been burned before. You’ve just recently started dating after a nasty divorce or a painful heartbreak. The last thing you want is to get into another relationship where you’re disrespected, abused, and betrayed. You’re probably worried about being blind again to the red flags that you didn’t see the last time you trapped yourself in a toxic relationship.

Now every time you go out on a date, you are sick to your stomach. You recall those times when you used to love dating and romance. “Where did it all go?” you ask yourself.

But now your broken and scared heart is hypnotized by the fear that you are with a wrong person again.

If you turn and twist in your bed worrying whether you’ve found the one, then you will find this post life changing.

How Can I Know That I’m Making the Right Choice When I Start Dating A New Man?

Get over the fear of uncertainty to find Mr. Right

1. Fear Over Uncertainty to Find the Right Man

My clients often ask me, “How do I know right away that I’m dating the right person, so I don’t waste my time?”

Why would you want to know right away? Is it even possible? The truth is there is no certainty, in the beginning. No matter how much you think, you want this certainty. In fact, the only reason you want certainty now is that you’ve not healed your broken heart yet.

Your desire for certainty is driven by fear. You’re still dragging the bag of the past pain.

2. Curiosity To Tame The Fear of Meeting New Person

In the beginning, there is no certainty. There is curiosity. It is here to guide you. Instead of being scared, become curious. Allow the mystery of meeting and getting to know a new person to linger.

I know that you feel like you don’t have that much time left to waste it on being curious. But it’s the only way you will find if the person you’re dating is the one.

Recall your last relationship. Were you curious about him at first? Or did you allow infatuation and your desperate need for external validation to cloud you?  You know the answer. Don’t let it happen again.

Get rid of your past relationship pain

3. Elusive Choice As a Plague

Think about the true reason behind why we want to get this sense of certainty. Nowadays, we’re all exposed to social media and digital dating. All of these creates an illusion of choice.

Is he the right one?
How do I deal with this anxiety worrying whether I have found the right person?
There’re so many men on this planet, how do I know that there isn’t someone better for me? 

4. You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know

You will never know if he is the right man for you right of the bet. The only way you’ll know is by being with that person, facing your vulnerabilities, communicating with him, asking him the right questions, and exploring yourself along the way.

Anxiety around dating after divorce?

5. Don’t Fight The Fear of Your Bad Experiences

Now that we’ve faced reality, it’s time to deal with relationship anxiety. The only way for you to stop the inner terror that kills all the enjoyment out of dating is to allow the fear and uncertainty to be.

You’re human. You had a bad experience. You considered these 5 important things before your divorce. You made a decision to leave your marriage and to find yourself.

When you stop pushing for knowing, the answer will come. Some so many people who’ve been together for a very long time, and they’re still not fully certain whether they’ve found the right person. So don’t expect yourself to know right away.

6. Certainty Is Your Band-Aid

We all want to know the answer. We want to be certain. Tell me: “When…How…Where?” It applies to our careers as well as to our love lives. The reason you’re so addicted to certainty is that you don’t have a constructive way to deal with anxiety.

As a result, you lose your sleep over trying to find certainty, which is not possible. As a result, it just adds up to even more anxiety.

It comes as no surprise that depression and anxiety are the two most diagnosed mental health issues in North America. Don’t let it consume you.

Capture the signal your body and emotions trigger

7. You Know What You Know

As you’re dating this person, pay attention to what’s happening and how you feel. The best signs you’ve met the right person (for now) are:

  • You love talking to him
  • You like his chivalry
  • You feel respected
  • You’re intrigued about the future
  • You get excited about your next date

Allow your body to guide you. These signs are the only certainty you have.

How to finally get the love you want?

Once you’ve had a chance to read, I’d love to know: what are your top three struggles when it comes to finding the right person? 

No matter what you’re facing right now, there is an adventurous journey ahead. You can use your heart, courage, and dedication to find a way or make a way. It all comes to how bad you want to make it happen.

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Karolina Tatarenkova